Today I visited a friend with a brand new baby. Is there anything better in the whole word than the little bundle of smoosh that is a newborn? Oh! I love them. They don’t talk back. They don’t get in my stuff. They don’t torture their sister. They are just so! cute!
Lelah was so calm and so comfortable with herself and her baby it was a joy to witness. I’ve seen mothers like this before. But, honestly never a first-timer. I was a bit of a neurotic basket case with both of my newborns, I’m embarrassed to admit.
Lelah was present to soak up the wonders of infancy, and especially the wonders of an infant that has come from your own body. If you let yourself, couldn’t you sit for hours staring at every cell of their body, finding in them your grandmother’s hands, your mother’s temperament, your father-in-law’s financial prowess, and your sister’s creativity? You could dream away the days, lost in what this creature could become.
But, most of us don’t. We think of it for a minute. And then we check the facebook. Or, more typically in my case, we pick up the baby book to read about What is Coming Next? Or How to Get Baby to Sleep. Oy! The baby books!
I have read so many books on child-rearing I should be my own wikipedia page.
Lelah isn’t reading any! And I truly think she is on to something. I believe the parent-child bond is a very innate, natural thing. If we relax and believe in ourselves enough to trust it, it will never steer us wrong.
Even with these beliefs in my heart, I’ve had a rough couple of days with my son having strep throat and being tired and super-humanly stubborn in general. I have been beating myself up for parental mistakes I perceive myself to be making at every turn. Books I have read have counselled me to try many different approaches with him. It’s wearing me out.
Lelah said in that even in the hospital (!) she got conflicting advice from the nurses attending her. Instead of totally freaking out about this nerve-wracking reality—even the NURSES don’t know how to take care of a newborn! She and her husband took the variety of opinions to mean whatever you decide to do will work.
Whatever you decide to do will work.
With babies and with life–Whatever you decide to do will work.
As long as I love my children and I stay present, as much as I can each day with them, it will work.
Thank you so much, Lelah and Truman, for a beautiful day and a lovely mantra for my life.