A good whine is like a summer’s day: Complaining about my husband

Everyone knows my husband is a great guy.  My parents know it.  My friends know it.  His friends know it.  The teachers at school know it.

There is only one draw-back I have found to having a great husband and that is when I have PMS or am generally annoyed by one of his idiosyncrasies and really need to vent to someone, there is no one who will listen.  Most of the people I try to whine to don’t believe me.  They say things like, “JEFF?!  Really?!” and make a pfffttt sound with their lips.  Or they say in all sincerity, “But Jeff cooks dinner, so you can’t really complain.” Or something equally irritating like that.  It is really a pain.  What’s a girl to do?   I even tried complaining to his sister once, thinking, she has GOT to understand because she lived with him for 17 odd years.  Right?  Wrong.  She was very defensive of her dear brother, the golden boy.  So!  I was left with no one.

Except for Michelle.  Michelle has been friends with Jeff longer than I have and has also been frustrated more than once by his quirks.  Their relationship has always reminded me of a sibling relationship where there are almost equal parts love and annoyance.  She therefore, has come to be the only person I could whine to when I no one else will listen.  We have had such cathartic phone calls, fb chats, playdates, and you-name-its where we sit and whine and whine and then we whine.  Aahhh…  just like therapy.

Except now, through one of those crappy circumstances that happen in life, Michelle is gone, too.  It’s a sad day for our house.  No more Michelle.  My kids are sad and Jeff and I are sad.  We used to celebrate the holidays together.  We played, we talked.  We were really close.  Now the friendship is over.  It’s no one’s fault and there is no one to yell at.  Still want to yell, though.

Certain friends play roles in your life, I’ve known that for a while: the drinking buddies, the fellow moms, the exercise partner, shopper, go-to birthday cake maker, and the all-important whiner friend.  I love a good whine.  And I don’t need any judgment with my whine, just enthusiastic nods.  I will miss Michelle for this reason.  A lot.

When I sit around and try not to yell about it I can’t help but contemplate the greater meaning of this loss and wonder if maybe its time I stop complaining about Jeff so much.

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